What is Nemesis To Go?
It's a webzine - a fanzine on the web. You might have also heard the term e-zine used in this context, although personally I always feel that should refer to something that arrives by email. If it's a zine on the web, it's a webzine.
It's entirely put together by me, Michael Johnson - or, as I'm sometimes known, Uncle Nemesis or Uncle N. In these virtual pages, I shoot the breeze, call the shots, and generally hold forth about music. That's me, staring quizzically out of the photo on the right.
I review gigs, festivals and recordings, and interview assorted artists who I think are interesting to know about. There's also an ever-growing selection of photos of bands in full effect on stage, taken by me in my trademark 'point and pray' photographic style.
Mostly, I cover stuff that happens around London, because that's where I am. But the rest of planet Earth is represented from time to time.
There are, of course, many other music zines and blogs around the web which also do this kind of stuff, and it could be said that the world doesn't need yet another. But you know what? Tough shit, world. Nemesis To Go is here.
Why is it called Nemesis To Go?
So I get to do that frghtfully clever thing with the name of the zine and the URL of the front page. And anyway, all the good names were taken.
However, at least I'm in the fine tradition of fanzines with baffling names. From Attack On Bzag, years ago, to the (rather fine, actually) Kitten Painting of today, giving your zine a strange name is almost an unwritten law of the fanzine world. Long may the strangeness continue, is what I say.
I've been using 'Nemesis' as an all-purpose trading name for some time. I originally took it from the title of a song from one of my favourite bands, Shriekback. Here they are, performing their 1985 non-hit in glorious extravaganzo-vision:
What were they on? That's what happens when an over-abundance of imagination meets a major label promotion budget, I think. Anyway, there you have my source.
Thus inspired, between 1995 and 2001 I put on gigs in London under the name Nemesis Promotions. During this period I aquired the nickname 'Uncle Nemesis' or 'Uncle N' - apparently, as a provider of entertainment I cut a rather avuncular figure. Well, there go my delusions of rock 'n' roll coolness.
I like to think my showbiz career was an artistic triumph, although frankly it was an unmitigated financial disaster from first gig to last. Being a promoter of live music at a time when club culture was in the ascendant was really just an extended exercise in shovelling money into a bottomless pit. Things are different now, of course: live music has come into its own again, and maybe in a small way I helped to nudge things in that direction. I certainly carried a spluttering torch for loud, weird, live music at a time when it definitely wasn't fashionable to do so. I came out of that escapade with a large hole in my bank balance - only partly filled in, even now - and a nickname which endures to this day.
I've been a zine writer of sorts for years (although, curiously enough, I've never done a zine of my own until now). Between 2002 and 2005 I contributed reviews and photos to the US webzine Starvox (now closed, but much of my stuff is still there if you'd like to read it). It so happened that there was another contributor already in place who shared my real name, Michael Johnson. To avoid confusion I elected to continue as Uncle Nemesis. In this way what started as a silly nickname ended up as an all-purpose alternative identity for me. I probably couldn't get rid of the name now if I tried. Mind you, I'd be worried if my mum started using it.
What kind of music does Nemesis To Go cover?
The short answer to that one is 'anything that interests me'. But there's a slightly longer answer, too.
I spent my formative years sitting up in bed on school nights with my Senheiser HD400 headphones on, while John Peel filled my head with all manner of strange sounds. Later, I dived headlong into the mosh at gigs by the likes of Killing Joke, Bauhaus, Siouxsie And The Banshees, Shriekback, Sonic Youth...and many, many more. I stuck my head into the bass bins of the Tackhead Sound System; I flailed with more enthusiasm than elegance on the dancefloors of the Torture Garden and Slimelight. I built up a large and haphazard record collection - everything from the Shop Assistants to the Bassheads - and inquisitively, indescriminately, and quite frequently inebriatedly, spent time at techno clubs under the Westway and indie pubs in Camden.
Boil all that stuff down, simmer until it begins to emit a funny smell, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is what goes in to Nemesis To Go.
When are new issues of Nemesis To Go uploaded?
At irregular - sometimes very irregular - intervals.
Everything you see here is put together in whatever spare time I have after doing my day job and taking care of other aspects of my life. Much as I'd like to spend all my time investigating raucous bands in assorted subterranean dives, and then going home to fling merry quips about the experience onto the web, I've never found anyone willing to pay me a living wage to do so. (I mean, would you pay me to write this stuff?)
So, there may be lengthy gaps between new issues - but when the updates do arrive, the chances are they'll be big. New material is often previewed and trailed in my LiveJournal and MySpace blog - keep an eye on these locations for new photos, off-the-cuff comments about gigs I've been to, and general updates-between-the-updates.
How can I contact Nemesis To Go?
You can email me here.
You can send messages via LiveJournal and MySpace and make any comments you like on my posts - no filters, no restrictions (although if you post offensive stuff I'll delete it). Add yourself to my LiveJournal friends' list and send me a MySpace friend request if you wish - although please note that if you're a band, being on my friends lists does not mean you'll get instant attention or guaranteed good reviews.
I'm on Last FM, too, although owing to lack of time on my part there's not much going on there. However, messages sent via the Last FM shoutbox will get to me.
Nemesis To Go now has a Facebook fan page - by all means join it if you wish. However, I'm not on Facebok myself. The fan group was set up by others (who are all fine and wonderful people, obviously) and I'm not involved. You can't contact me this way - in fact, I can't even see who's in the group. You can talk about me behind my back if you like, and I'll never know.
You can send hard-copy stuff to me at this address:
BCM Nemesis To Go, London WC1N 3XX
Note that I never ask for promo material to be sent in - it's entirely your decision whether you send me stuff or not. I can't guarantee that you'll get a review, because sometimes there's just too much to wade through. Nor do I have time (or, frankly, the inclination) to reply to messages that say things like 'Hey - can we send you a promo CD?' or 'We sent you a promo CD last week - did you get it? What did you think of it?' You don't have to ask permission, and you don't have to engage me in conversation. If you want to send stuff in, send it. 'Nuff said.
Note for bands: don't assume your management, label, PR types or other rock 'n' roll middle men you may have on your team will send me a promo copy of your new release. In my experience, these music biz types sometimes do distinctly less work for the bands than the bands think they do. Regardless of what back-room support you think you've got, it's up to you to double-check that the right stuff is getting done.
I can't be responsible for anything that goes missing in the post. This has happened a few tmes in the past. Anything you send is at your own risk, I'm afraid. Don't send stuff via any delivery method that requires a signature - I don't actually live in that funny little box in London WC1, and I will not be able to sign for your package. Therefore, it'll probably vanish into some sort of postal limbo.
I'll accept music in digital form - nuthin' fancy, just normal mp3s will be fine, not too large. However, I can't be responsible for files that don't open, don't play, or otherwise fail to function. Digital files should represent a proper release that is formally available to anyone - I'm not here to give you an instant opinion on the bedroom techno track you knocked up at home last week, or the latest demo you've flung up on your MySpace page.
Will you come and review my gig?
I can only give you a definite maybe. I do get to a fair few gigs - significantly more than most other webzine proprietors and contributors, it must be said, some of whom seem to be languishing under house arrest, judging by the infrequency of their live music reviews. I'm quite the opposite - live music is the engine that drives this ramshackle webzine.
But I can't get to every show in town. I have a day job and a life, which eat into my gigging opportunities...and anyway, sometimes I simply feel like a quiet night in. By all means alert me to your upcoming gigs if you wish, but I can't guarantee to be there.
By the way, just as I never ask for promo material to be sent to me, I never ask for guest list places, either. Sometimes bands or promoters are kind enough to offer, and sometimes I accept. But most of the time I buy my ticket like any other punter. This means that even if the bands don't like my review, they can console themselves with the thought that at least they've got my money.
Can I be sure you'll give my band a good review?
In a word, no.
Everything I write is straight-from-the-shoulder opinion, unleavened with any hidden agendas, ulterior motives, or 'got to support the scene' artificial fluffiness. I don't genuflect before record labels, bands, promoters, or anyone else - a rare approach in any corner of the music media these days.
While my reviews are not (usually) streams of bile and wormwood, please take on board the fact that I don't write promotional blurb. I write what I think. From time to time, this may not be quite the same as what you think.
When I was a live music promoter, nobody cut me any slack. I had to take criticism of my gigs on the chin with a grin, and cheerfully come back for more. Fair enough - that's the only way to play it. If I can cope with it, so can you. Therefore, any complaints, freak-outs, and bouts of knickers-in-a-twist outrage resulting from reviews that didn't quite turn out the way you wanted will be treated with appropriate levels of amused disdain.
It's true that some music publications (fanzines and magazines, online and off) operate blanket policies of saying nice things about everything. Sometimes, this may be due to a reluctance to rock the music biz boat, or to make sure the adverts keep coming. Or it may be due to genuine all-encompassing enthusiasm for the music itself - which is OK, although it's always wise to state this approach upfront before anyone gets the wrong idea. But, either way, I think the result is the same. Many bands, labels, and promoters have become accustomed to receiving universally bland approval from the music media - indeed, some younger bands may never have experienced anything else. On the rare occasions when they meet unfiltered opinions, they flip straight into the freak-out zone. Well, please freak out over my opinions if it makes you feel better. But I shall remain unmoved.
There is, of course, one advantage to this approach. You can be sure my reviews are the real deal. Good or bad, I'm sayng that stuff because I mean it. If I say nice things, you'll know I'm not dutifully trying to 'support the scene', or suck up to the record label, or appease my advertisers - and I'm certainly not trying to ingratiate myself with the artists because I want to be mates with the bands. Believe me, I saw enough gormless musos at close quarters during my years as a live music promoter to put me off being mates with bands for life.
As the great Jim Thirlwell once put it, 'Say what you mean, and say it mean.' Or, as I would have it, 'Say what you mean - and throw in a few jokes.'
Can I contribute to Nemesis To Go?
This question has a 'Yes, but...' answer.
Yes, I would like to have a few contributors on board, if only because I can't go everywhere and do everything myself. There are gigs that I'd like to get to, albums that I'd like to review, bands that I'd like to interview - I'm aware that there's much going on out there that I simply can't cover because there's only one of me in here. So, yes, a few more hands on deck would be very useful.
But I want to avoid the trap I think some other webzines fall into: building up an extensive array of lavishly credited contributors, each with their impressive self-penned biography in which they portray themselves as God's gift to the music media, and yet who contribute very little real content. I have resolved that my train ain't gonna carry no passengers.
I suppose my ideal contributor would be another one of me. Someone who can go out and get the raw material, and then do both the photos and the words. Since I started up this webzine, one or two people people have approached me, wishing to take photos, or write reviews - but it's not easy to find anyone who is willing or able to do both, which is what I really want. Inevitably, the people who want to do the photos never want to go to the same gigs as the people who want to do the words.
I'm also looking for people who can write well. It's not that I regard myself as a giant of English literature, you understand, but at least I know where the commas and apostrophes go, which seems to be a rare skill in these ill-educated times. I also like to think I have a touch of my own style. There are too many zines out there which are written in an oddly characterless format: dry and over-formal, clunky clichés sprinkled all over the place, without the writers putting anything of themselves into their work. I dislike that kind of thing - aside from anything else, it's boring.
Someone once told me that reading my stuff was a bit like listening to me holding forth about music in the pub. I'm not sure if they meant that as a compliment, but I'll take it as such. At least it shows that when you read my stuff, you know it's me.
If you've read all the above, and you reckon that my hypothetical contributor bears a distinct resemblance to yourself, show me what you can do. No promises, mind (and, before you ask, no money, either!)
Can I advertise in Nemesis To Go?
Yes, but not just yet. I'm not averse to having a few ad banners scattered around the site. I intend to see about opening up Nemesis To Go to the forces of commerce, but I'm not quite ready for that yet. Aside from anything else, it's necessary to redesign my page layout to create some space where ad banners can go - I didn't think of this when I put together my original page format. The re-jig of the page layout is happening now: have a look around this page for the placeholders that mark out areas where ads will go. Once I've taken care of all this, I'll obviously be looking for ads to fill the gaps.
I'm not interested in being sponsored by anyone, and I certainly have no intention of sponsoring anyone else. But, if nothing else, it would be useful to include some advertising to help cover the cost of running around to all those gigs - and also meet the site's hosting costs, which are quite substantial. Mad optimistic fool that I am, I bought a lot of bandwidth.
If you reckon you might be up for buying an ad banner or two at some point in the future, by all means let me know, so I can gauge demand (if any). It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that buying an advert on Nemesis To Go will not buy you lavish coverage or good reviews. Yes, I know certain other music magazines work on exactly that basis - but I don't.
How is the Nemesis To Go site constructed?
Up to Issue 8, this webzine was mainly built with Dreamweaver 4, with a few bespoke HTML tweaks along the way. I have also used Fireworks 4 and Photoshop 7. All that is ancient technology now, of course. I am now substantially upgrading the back end - while also rebuilding the front end.
This involves reconstructing the site with updated versions of everything, and a new CSS-based page layout. This page is one of the new ones. Eventually, the entire site will be based on the layout you see here. Everything is, of course, still under constrction at present - you may see odd unfinished bits on the new pages, and changes may happen rather abruptly as I adjust the layout and clean up my quick 'n' dirty code. Don't worry, everything is under control...I think.
Meanwhile, please tell me if anything is broken for you.
The entire site - new bits and old bits alike - should work well in any browser. I've checked the site in Safari, Opera, Firefox, Internet Explorer and and Netscape Navigator, and aside from minor browser differences, it all seems to work. Google Chrome looks OK, too, although I haven't tested the site extensively in this browser yet.
Internet Explorer might not show my favicon - the little 'N' icon in the browser address bar. There's a known issue with IE here (there's always a known issue with IE) and although I know various workarounds exist, I haven't quite been able to solve the problem yet. If you happen to have a quick fix for this one up your sleeve, I'm interested.
You may have to watch your text size in some browsers. Firefox, especially, defaults to a teeny-weeny text size which played merry hell with my old-style layouts. If you're a Firefox user and things look a little odd on the older pages, boost the text to the next size up and everything should be OK. One of the back-end upgrades I'm working on is to fix the text at a certain defined size in pixels or ems - this should avoid Random Text Size Misery. If the text size on this page seems OK to you (and also if it doesn't), please let me know.
Is Nemesis To Go safe for my wife and servants to read?
Ah, it's time for a disclaimer.
Nemesis To Go is not what I would call an 'adult' website. It is not festooned with gratuitous pictures of hawt chyxx in states of undress, even if some of the bands do get a bit, er, rock 'n' roll at times. However, I do employ the English language in all its expressive glory, without any foolish fig leaves of self-censorship. This means that if I'm moved to say fuck, I'll say fuck - and not f*ck, or f**k, or any other unconvincing 'I'm not really swearing, vicar' version.
Therefore, Nemesis To Go may not be entirely suitable reading matter for sensitive ickle kiddies, or indeed sensitive ickle adults. You must make your own decision here.
Privacy Policy:
A brief burst of legal small print:
As is common practice on most websites, I use log files to gather basic information about site traffic. These record internet protocol (IP) addresses, browser type, date and time of visit, entry and exit pages, numbers of unique users, search keywords, referring sites and search engines, etc. This information does not identify individuals. No personal information is gathered.
Third party vendors, including Google, use cookies to serve advertising on this site, specifically by means of the DoubleClick DART cookie. This enables Google to serve ads based on visits to this site and/or other sites on the Internet. You can opt out of the use of the DART cookie by visiting the advertising opt-out page on the Google website.
Go here - then click the 'Opt Out' button.
You can, of course, also disable cookies in your own web browser.
It's also worth noting that I am not responsible for the content of external links. If you follow a link from this site and discover something that fills you with seething disgust, existential woe, or otherwise gets you wailing and gnashing your teeth, don't come moaning to me, cuz it ain't my fault.
Any other questions?
If you want to know something that I haven't covered on this page, please ask me.
