Nemesis To Go

Some infrequently asked questions...

What is Nemesis To Go?
It's a webzine, written, photographed and generally assembled by me, Michael Johnson. In it, I shoot the breeze, call the shots, and generally hold forth about music.

I review gigs, CDs, festivals, and similar what-nots, and I interview assorted artists who I think are interesting to know about - and who are prepared to fend off my questioning.

The zine also features an ever-growing selection of live photos of bands, all taken in my time-honoured 'point and pray' photographic style. There I am, demonstrating the technique on the right. Mostly, I cover stuff that happens around London, because that's where I am. But the rest of planet Earth will also be represented from time to time.

There are, of course, many webzines, blogs, and other music sites around the web which do this kind of stuff already, and it could be said that the world doesn't need yet another one. But you know what? Tough shit, world. Nemesis To Go is here.

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Why is it called Nemesis To Go?
So I get to do that frightfully clever thing with the URL of the front page and the name of the zine. And anyway, all the good names were taken.

Still, a baffling name is anpther fine fanzine tradition. I recall such fanzines as Kill Your Pet Puppy and Attack On Bzag from years ago - classics of the weird name art, I reckon. Names which at a stroke defined the zines' territory in opposition to the mainstream music mags, with their dull, prosaic, titles. We've become so accustomed to referring to the NME that we tend to forget those letters stand for New Musical Express - a title so worthily dulI I almost fell asleep as I was typing it.

I've been using 'Nemesis' as an all-pupose trading name for some time. I originally took it from the title of a song by one of my favourite bands, Shriekback. Here they are, performing their 1985 non-hit 'Nemesis' in glorious 80s over-the-topness:

What were they on? That's what happens when an excess of imagination meets a major label video budget, I think. Anyway, there you have my source.

Thus inspired, between 1995 and 2001 I put on gigs in London under the name Nemesis Promotions - during which time I aquired the nickname 'Uncle Nemesis', or 'Uncle N'. Apparently, as a provider of entertainment I cut a somewhat avuncular figure. Well, there go my delusions of rock 'n' roll coolness.

Later, I began writing for the US webzine StarVox. There was another writer already in place who happened to share my real name. To avoid confusion I elected to write as Uncle Nemesis. Without ever being planned this way, what started out as a silly nickname ended up as something of an all-purpose alternative identity for me. Now, I probably couldn't get rid of the name if I tried. Mind you, I'd be worried if my mum started using it.

What kind of music does Nemesis To Go cover?
At this point I was going to launch into an extensive dissertation on assorted musical genres, sub-genres, sub-sub-genres, scenes, sub-cultures and cross-fertilization. And then I thought, perhaps not. So, if you want to find out what sort of music I cover, just read the zine and find out.

However, here's some background which might drop a hint about my musical territory...

I spent my formative years sitting up in bed listening to John Peel's late-night radio show, and subsequently put in sterling mosh-service at gigs by the likes of Bauhaus, Killing Joke, Siouxsie And The Banshees, Cabaret Voltaire, Shriekback, Sonic Youth, Tackhead, Jah Wobble, and other purveyors of interesting noises.

Then, as I've already mentioned, in the mid-90s I became a promoter of live music as Nemesis Promotions. I spent seven years as a gig-provider to the masses (or as many of them as I could tempt through the door), working out of London venues such as the Underworld and Borderline.

I like to think my sojourn in showbusiness was an artistic triumph, although frankly it was an unmitigated financial disaster from first gig to last. Being an independent live music promoter in London at a time when club culture ruled the musical roost was really just an extended exercise in shovelling large amouts of cash into a bottomless pit.

Things have changed now, of course: live music is very much the driving force of the music industry these days. In a small way maybe I helped to make the change happen. I certainly carried a spluttering torch for loud, weird, live music at a time when it was definitely not fashionable to do so. And I've still got the hole in my bank account to prove it!

Along the way I contributed assorted photos, reviews, rants, rambles, and even cartoons to all manner of fanzines - although, curiously, I have never produced a zine of my own until now. Most of the zines for which I wrote are long gone to the big recycling box in the sky, but the photos and reviews I contributed to StarVox between 2002 and 2005 are still online if you want to have a look.

Boil all that stuff down, simmer over a low flame until it begins to emit a funny smell, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is what goes in to Nemesis To Go.

How often will new issues of Nemesis To Go be uploaded?
Ah, this is the hostage to fortune question, isn't it. I've decided to fling up new issues whenever they're ready, which means there won't be any kind of regular update schedule. I think it's far more practical to concentrate on creating some substantial content rather than setting up impressively tight deadlines - and then blithely missing them all in a flurry of excuses.

I've seen plenty of other zines around the web which seem to work permanently in arrears, always apologising for the delays in getting new content up. It seems to me that there's a simple way to avoid Missed Deadline Misery - don't impose deadlines in the first place! In time, I'd like to make new issues of Nemesis To Go more frequent, and more regular. But realistically, for the moment, irregularity rules.

Everything you see here is put together in whatever spare time I have after doing my day job and taking care of other aspects of my life. Much as I'd like to spend all my time investigating raucous bands in assorted subterranean dives, and then going home to fling embarassing photos and merry quips about the experience onto the web, I can't find anyone willing to pay me a living wage to do so. (I mean, would you pay me to write this stuff?)

So, everything will remain somewhat irregular around here. I certainly don't intend to make update-promises that I can't keep. There will be random, and possibly lengthy, gaps between issues of Nemesis To Go. But when the updates eventually happen, chances are they'll be big.

When new material is on its way, it'll be trailed, previewed, plugged and announced in the Nemesis To Go LiveJournal and on my MySpace page, along with my other, more random, excursions into the blogosphere. Alternatively, just check the site itself from time to time.

How can I contact Nemesis To Go?
You can email me here.

You can keep up with what I'm doing between issues of Nemesis To Go via my LiveJournal or MySpace page. Please add yourself to my LiveJournal friends list or send me a MySpace friend request, if you feel so inclined.

You can send me messages via LiveJournal and MySpace, and post any comments you like on my blog entries. No filters, no restrictions. You can say what you like, and you certainly don't have to agree with me, although I may delete comments if they're offensive.

If you're a band, I may not approve your friend request if your music isn't my thing, and being on my friends lists does not mean you'll get my immediate attention or guaranteed good reviews. See below for more essential disclaimers on this point!

I am not on Facebook, but a Facebook fan page has recently been set up for Nemesis To Go by other people. I'm flattered, if a little startled - I had no idea I had any fans. They're all lovely people, obviously, wild and crazy fools that they are.

If you're on Facebook, please join the fan page if you wish - but bear in mind that I'm not involved personally and you can't contact me this way. In fact, I can't even see who's a member of the group. This means that you can talk about me behind my back, and I'll never know.

I'm on Last FM too, although owing to lack of time on my part there's not much going on there at present. You can see some of my music choices there, though, and messages sent via the Last FM shoutbox will get to me.

You can send me hard copy at this real-life postal address, which I will put on a separate line and in eye-catching yellow, because so many people seem to have trouble finding it:

BCM Nemesis To Go, London WC1N 3XX

Although it might look a little odd, that is a real address. It's a British Commercial Monomark (a glorified PO box, essentially) as used by everyone from the royal family to the Torture Garden. If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me.

Can I send in promo stuff for review?
By all means do so, if you wish. But please note the following pertinent points before you parcel up your promo packs:

- I'm not actually asking for items to be sent in. It's entirely your decision whether you bung some promo material my way, or not.

- While I try to work my way through everything, I can't guarantee that you'll get a review. In the first place, my main focus is live music. I'm not simply a record review machine. There are other zines which take that approach...and most of them are rather dull, if you ask me.

- Some items I'm sent get sidelined because the music is way outside my musical parameters; other items fall by the wayside because there's simply too much to get through. I don't necessarily have the time to sit at home and work my way down a towering pile of promo items. That's why I don't ask for anything to be sent in. It would be very unfair of me to seek review material when I can't guarantee coverage.

- I don't have time (or, frankly, the inclination) to reply to emails or MySpace messages which say things like, 'Hey - can we send you some promos?', or 'We sent you the new CD by so-and-so recently. Did you get it? What do you think of it?' You don't have to ask permission, nor do you need to engage me in conversation. All you have to do is send me your material, if you wish to do so. All the information you need to do that is here.

- If you're a band, don't assume that your record label, management, PR drones or any other rock 'n' roll middle men you might have on your team will send me promo items. In my experience, these music biz types frequently don't do half as much work for the bands as the bands think they do. Regardless of what back-room support you think you've got, if you want to be sure I'll get your material, it's up to you to double-check that the right people are doing the right stuff.

- I tend not to review stuff that is not intended for general release, or is otherwise not readily available. So don't send me that five-track promo-only album sampler - send me the album.

- I don't usually review material that I've already covered as part of another release. That means I might review the album, but not the singles taken from it. Conversely, if I've already reviewed the singles, I might not review the album. In any case, albums and singles are surely redundant concepts in these days of song-by-song downloads - but that's another dissertation!

- I can't be responsible for items that go missing in the post. This has happened a few times in the past. Anything you send has to be at your own risk. Don't send material by Recorded Delivery, or any similar method that requires a signature. I don't actually live in that funny little box in London WC2, and I will not be able to sign for your stuff. Therefore, it'll probably vanish into some sort of postal limbo.

- You can send me your music in digital form, but I can't be responsible for digital files that don't download properly, won't open, or otherwise fail to function. I'll accept virtual music, but I don't have the time or the inclination to fart around with recalcitrant technology. If I can't get at your files, you won't get my attention. Simple as that, I'm afraid. (And don't send music to me via file-mail websites such as Sendspace which fill my screen with pop-up ads!)

Will you come and review my gig?
I can only give you a definite maybe. I do get to a fair few gigs - significantly more than most other webzine proprietors and contributors, it must be said, some of whom seem to be languishing under house arrest, judging by the infrequency of their live music reviews. I'm quite the opposite - live music is the engine that drives this ramshackle webzine.

But I can't get to every show in town. I have a day job and a life, which eat into my gigging opportunities...and anyway, sometimes I simply feel like a quiet night in. By all means alert me to your upcoming gigs if you wish, but I can't guarantee to be there.

By the way, just as I never ask for promo material to be sent to me, I never ask for guest list places, either. Sometimes bands or promoters are kind enough to offer, and sometimes I accept. But most of the time I buy my ticket like any other punter. This means that even if the bands don't like my review, they can console themselves with the thought that at least they've got my money.

Can I be sure that you'll give my band a good review?
In a word, no. Everything I write is straight-from-the-shoulder opinion, unleavened with any hidden agendas, ulterior motives, or 'got to support the scene' artificial fluffiness. I don't genuflect before record labels, bands, promoters, or anyone else - a rare approach in any corner of the music media these days.

While my reviews are not (usually) streams of bile and wormwood, please take on board the fact that I don't write promotional blurb. I write what I think. From time to time, this may not be quite the same as what you think.

When I was a live music promoter, nobody cut me any slack. I had to take criticism of my gigs on the chin with a grin, and cheerfully come back for more. That was fair enough. That's the only way to play it. If I can cope with it, so can you. Therefore, any complaints, freak-outs, and bouts of knickers-in-a-twist outrage resulting from reviews that didn't quite turn out the way you wanted will be treated with appropriate levels of amused disdain.

Some music publications (fanzines and magazines, online and off) operate blanket policies of saying nice things about everything. Sometimes, this may be due to a certain reluctance to rock the music biz boat, or to make sure the adverts keep coming. Other times, it may be due to genuine all-encompassing enthusiasm for the music itself - which is fair enough, although it's always wise to state this approach upfront before anyone gets the wrong idea.

But, either way, I think the result is the same. Many bands, labels, promoters, etc have become accustomed to receiving universally bland approval from the music media - indeed, some younger bands may never have experienced anything else. On the rare occasions when they meet unfiltered opinions, they flip straight into the freak-out zone. Well, please freak out over my opinions if it makes you feel better. But I shall remain unmoved.

There is, of course, one big advantage in this approach. You can be sure my reviews are the real deal. Good or bad, I'm sayng that stuff because I mean it. If I say nice things, you'll know I'm not dutifully trying to 'support the scene', or suck up to the record label, or appease my advertisers - and I'm certainly not trying to ingratiate myself with the artists because I want to be mates with the bands. Believe me, I saw enough gormless musos at close quarters during my years as a live music promoter to put me off being mates with bands for life.

As the great Jim Thirlwell once put it, 'Say what you mean, and say it mean.' Or, as I would have it, 'Say what you mean - and throw in a few jokes.'

Can I contribute to Nemesis To Go?
This question has a 'Yes, but...' answer. Yes, I would like to have a few contributors on board, if only because I can't go everywhere and do everything myself. There are gigs that I'd like to get to, albums that I'd like to review, bands that I'd like to interview - I'm aware that there's much going on out there that I simply can't cover because there's only one of me in here. So, yes, a few more hands on deck would be very useful.

But I want to avoid the trap I think some other webzines fall into: building up an extensive array of lavishly credited contributors, each with their impressive self-penned biography in which they portray themselves as God's gift to the music media, and yet who contribute very little real content. I have resolved that my train ain't gonna carry no passengers.

I suppose my ideal contributor would be another one of me. Someone who can go out and get the raw material, and then do both the photos and the words. Since I started up this webzine, one or two people people have approached me, wishing to take photos, or write reviews - but it's not easy to find anyone who is willing or able to do both, which is what I really want. Inevitably, the people who want to do the photos never want to go to the same gigs as the people who want to do the words!

I'm also looking for people who can write well. It's not that I regard myself as a giant of English literature, you understand. Far from it. But at least I know where the commas and apostrophes go, which seems to be a rare skill in these ill-educated times. I also like to think I have a touch of my own style. There are too many zines out there which are written in an oddly characterless format: dry and over-formal, clunky clichés sprinkled all over the place, without the writers putting anything of themselves into their work. I dislike that kind of thing - aside from anything else, it's boring.

Someone once told me that reading my stuff was a bit like listening to me holding forth about music in the pub. I'm not sure if they meant that as a compliment, but I'll take it as such. At least it shows that when you read my stuff, you know it's me.

If you've read all the above, and you reckon that my hypothetical contributor bears a distinct resemblance to yourself, show me what you can do. No promises, mind (and, before you ask, no money, either!)

Can I advertise on Nemesis To Go?
Yes, but not just yet. I'm not averse to having a few discreetly positioned ad banners scattered around the site. I intend to see about opening up Nemesis To Go to the forces of commerce at some point, but I haven't quite got there at present. Aside from anything else, I'll have to redesign my page layout to create some space where ad banners can go - I didn't think of this when I first put together my standard format. Once I've taken care of this, I'll obviously be looking for ads to fill the gaps.

I'm not interested in being sponsored by anyone, and I certainly have no intention of sponsoring anyone else. But, if nothing else, it would be useful to include some advertising to help cover the cost of running around to all those gigs - and also meet the site's hosting costs, which are quite substantial. Mad optimistic fool that I am, I bought a lot of bandwidth.

If you reckon you might be up for buying an ad banner or two at some point in the future, by all means let me know, so I can gauge demand (if any). It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that buying an advert on Nemesis To Go will not buy you good reviews.

How is the Nemesis To Go site constructed?
I'm no web-techie, but for what it's worth, at present this website is mainly built with Dreamweaver 4, with a few bespoke HTML tweaks along the way. I also use Fireworks 4 and Photoshop 7.

All this is ancient technology now, of course, and I'm planning to substantially upgrade the back end soon. This will probably involve relaunching the site with updated versions of everything (and this time, I'll use CSS). However, these changes shouldn't be apparent to the casual reader. The zine will just carry on seamlessly from one issue to the next. That's the theory, anyway. If it all goes dark around here, you'll know that my plans have come unstuck!

For now, everything is built on an ancient PC and checked on a slightly less ancient Mac. I have no particular preferences when it comes to Macs versus PCs, it's just convenient to do it that way. When the big upgrade happens, my main site construction machine will become a (new) Mac, and the checking machine will be the old PC.

You should get good results in practically any browser. I've checked the site in Safari, Opera, Firefox, Internet Explorer and and Netscape Navigator, and aside from minor differences caused by the different ways the browsers render HTML, it all seems to work. Google Chrome looks OK, too, although I haven't tested the site extensively in this browser yet.

Internet Explorer might not show my favicon - the little 'N' icon in the browser address bar. There's a known issue with IE here, and although I know various workarounds exist, I haven't quite been able to solve the problem yet. If you happen to have a quick fix for this one up your sleeve, please let me know.

You may have to watch your text size in one or two browsers. Firefox, especially, defaults to a teeny-weeny text size which plays merry hell with my layouts. If you're a Firefox user and things look a little odd, boost the text to the next size up and everything should be OK.

If you discover any other problems, send me an alert and the Nemesis To Go technical department will swing into instant action (translation: I'll stare blankly at my monitor screen and swear helplessly).

Is Nemesis To Go safe for my wife and servants to read?
Ah, it's time for another disclaimer. Nemesis To Go is not what I would call an 'adult' website. It is not festooned with gratuitous pictures of hawt chyxx in states of undress, notwithstanding certain photos of Theatres Des Vampires and the Soho Dolls.

However, I do employ the English language in all its expressive glory, without any foolish fig leaves of self-censorship. This means that if I'm moved to say fuck, I'll say fuck - and not f*ck, or f**k, or any other unconvincing 'I'm not really swearing, vicar' version. Therefore, Nemesis To Go may not be entirely suitable reading matter for sensitive ickle kiddies, or indeed sensitive ickle adults. You must make your own decision here.

It's also worth noting that I am not responsible for the content of external links. This seems to me to be a rather unecessary disclaimer, but apparently it has to be made. So, if you follow a link from Nemesis To Go and discover something that fills you with seething disgust, existential woe, or otherwise gets you wailing and gnashing your teeth, don't come moaning to me, cuz it ain't my fault.

Use Ear Protectors

Any other questions?
If you want to know something that I haven't covered on this page, ask me. Now, I must get back to work. I've got a webzine to run here...


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Some infrequently asked questions... What is Nemesis To Go? It's a webzine, written, photographed and generally assembled by me, Michael Johnson. In it, I shoot the breeze, call the shots, and generally hold forth about music. I review gigs, CDs, festivals, and similar what-nots, and I interview assorted artists who I think are interesting to know about - and who are prepared to fend off my questioning. The zine also features an ever-growing selection of live photos of bands, all taken in my time-honoured 'point and pray' photographic style. There I am, demonstrating the technique on the right. Mostly, I cover stuff that happens around London, because that's where I am. But the rest of planet Earth will also be represented from time to time. There are, of course, many webzines, blogs, and other music sites around the web which do this kind of stuff already, and it could be said that the world doesn't need yet another one. But you know what? Tough shit, world. Nemesis To Go is here. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Why is it called Nemesis To Go? So I get to do that frightfully clever thing with the URL of the front page and the name of the zine. And anyway, all the good names were taken. Still, a baffling name is anpther fine fanzine tradition. I recall such fanzines as Kill Your Pet Puppy and Attack On Bzag from years ago - classics of the weird name art, I reckon. Names which at a stroke defined the zines' territory in opposition to the mainstream music mags, with their dull, prosaic, titles. We've become so accustomed to referring to the NME that we tend to forget those letters stand for New Musical Express - a title so worthily dulI I almost fell asleep as I was typing it. I've been using 'Nemesis' as an all-pupose trading name for some time. I originally took it from the title of a song by one of my favourite bands, Shriekback. Here they are, performing their 1985 non-hit 'Nemesis' in glorious 80s over-the-topness: What were they on? That's what happens when an excess of imagination meets a major label video budget, I think. Anyway, there you have my source. Thus inspired, between 1995 and 2001 I put on gigs in London under the name Nemesis Promotions - during which time I aquired the nickname 'Uncle Nemesis', or 'Uncle N'. Apparently, as a provider of entertainment I cut a somewhat avuncular figure. Well, there go my delusions of rock 'n' roll coolness. Later, I began writing for the US webzine StarVox. There was another writer already in place who happened to share my real name. To avoid confusion I elected to write as Uncle Nemesis. Without ever being planned this way, what started out as a silly nickname ended up as something of an all-purpose alternative identity for me. Now, I probably couldn't get rid of the name if I tried. Mind you, I'd be worried if my mum started using it. What kind of music does Nemesis To Go cover? At this point I was going to launch into an extensive dissertation on assorted musical genres, sub-genres, sub-sub-genres, scenes, sub-cultures and cross-fertilization. And then I thought, perhaps not. So, if you want to find out what sort of music I cover, just read the zine and find out. However, here's some background which might drop a hint about my musical territory... I spent my formative years sitting up in bed listening to John Peel's late-night radio show, and subsequently put in sterling mosh-service at gigs by the likes of Bauhaus, Killing Joke, Siouxsie And The Banshees, Cabaret Voltaire, Shriekback, Sonic Youth, Tackhead, Jah Wobble, and other purveyors of interesting noises. Then, as I've already mentioned, in the mid-90s I became a promoter of live music as Nemesis Promotions. I spent seven years as a gig-provider to the masses (or as many of them as I could tempt through the door), working out of London venues such as the Underworld and Borderline. I like to think my sojourn in showbusiness was an artistic triumph, although frankly it was an unmitigated financial disaster from first gig to last. Being an independent live music promoter in London at a time when club culture ruled the musical roost was really just an extended exercise in shovelling large amouts of cash into a bottomless pit. Things have changed now, of course: live music is very much the driving force of the music industry these days. In a small way maybe I helped to make the change happen. I certainly carried a spluttering torch for loud, weird, live music at a time when it was definitely not fashionable to do so. And I've still got the hole in my bank account to prove it! Along the way I contributed assorted photos, reviews, rants, rambles, and even cartoons to all manner of fanzines - although, curiously, I have never produced a zine of my own until now. Most of the zines for which I wrote are long gone to the big recycling box in the sky, but the photos and reviews I contributed to StarVox between 2002 and 2005 are still online if you want to have a look. Boil all that stuff down, simmer over a low flame until it begins to emit a funny smell, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is what goes in to Nemesis To Go. How often will new issues of Nemesis To Go be uploaded? Ah, this is the hostage to fortune question, isn't it. I've decided to fling up new issues whenever they're ready, which means there won't be any kind of regular update schedule. I think it's far more practical to concentrate on creating some substantial content rather than setting up impressively tight deadlines - and then blithely missing them all in a flurry of excuses. I've seen plenty of other zines around the web which seem to work permanently in arrears, always apologising for the delays in getting new content up. It seems to me that there's a simple way to avoid Missed Deadline Misery - don't impose deadlines in the first place! In time, I'd like to make new issues of Nemesis To Go more frequent, and more regular. But realistically, for the moment, irregularity rules. Everything you see here is put together in whatever spare time I have after doing my day job and taking care of other aspects of my life. Much as I'd like to spend all my time investigating raucous bands in assorted subterranean dives, and then going home to fling embarassing photos and merry quips about the experience onto the web, I can't find anyone willing to pay me a living wage to do so. (I mean, would you pay me to write this stuff?) So, everything will remain somewhat irregular around here. I certainly don't intend to make update-promises that I can't keep. There will be random, and possibly lengthy, gaps between issues of Nemesis To Go. But when the updates eventually happen, chances are they'll be big. When new material is on its way, it'll be trailed, previewed, plugged and announced in the Nemesis To Go LiveJournal and on my MySpace page, along with my other, more random, excursions into the blogosphere. Alternatively, just check the site itself from time to time. How can I contact Nemesis To Go? You can email me here. You can keep up with what I'm doing between issues of Nemesis To Go via my LiveJournal or MySpace page. Please add yourself to my LiveJournal friends list or send me a MySpace friend request, if you feel so inclined. You can send me messages via LiveJournal and MySpace, and post any comments you like on my blog entries. No filters, no restrictions. You can say what you like, and you certainly don't have to agree with me, although I may delete comments if they're offensive. If you're a band, I may not approve your friend request if your music isn't my thing, and being on my friends lists does not mean you'll get my immediate attention or guaranteed good reviews. See below for more essential disclaimers on this point! I am not on Facebook, but a Facebook fan page has recently been set up for Nemesis To Go by other people. I'm flattered, if a little startled - I had no idea I had any fans. They're all lovely people, obviously, wild and crazy fools that they are. If you're on Facebook, please join the fan page if you wish - but bear in mind that I'm not involved personally and you can't contact me this way. In fact, I can't even see who's a member of the group. This means that you can talk about me behind my back, and I'll never know. I'm on Last FM too, although owing to lack of time on my part there's not much going on there at present. You can see some of my music choices there, though, and messages sent via the Last FM shoutbox will get to me. You can send me hard copy at this real-life postal address, which I will put on a separate line and in eye-catching yellow, because so many people seem to have trouble finding it: BCM Nemesis To Go, London WC1N 3XX Although it might look a little odd, that is a real address. It's a British Commercial Monomark (a glorified PO box, essentially) as used by everyone from the royal family to the Torture Garden. If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me. Can I send in promo stuff for review? By all means do so, if you wish. But please note the following pertinent points before you parcel up your promo packs: - I'm not actually asking for items to be sent in. It's entirely your decision whether you bung some promo material my way, or not. - While I try to work my way through everything, I can't guarantee that you'll get a review. In the first place, my main focus is live music. I'm not simply a record review machine. There are other zines which take that approach...and most of them are rather dull, if you ask me. - Some items I'm sent get sidelined because the music is way outside my musical parameters; other items fall by the wayside because there's simply too much to get through. I don't necessarily have the time to sit at home and work my way down a towering pile of promo items. That's why I don't ask for anything to be sent in. It would be very unfair of me to seek review material when I can't guarantee coverage. - I don't have time (or, frankly, the inclination) to reply to emails or MySpace messages which say things like, 'Hey - can we send you some promos?', or 'We sent you the new CD by so-and-so recently. Did you get it? What do you think of it?' You don't have to ask permission, nor do you need to engage me in conversation. All you have to do is send me your material, if you wish to do so. All the information you need to do that is here. - If you're a band, don't assume that your record label, management, PR drones or any other rock 'n' roll middle men you might have on your team will send me promo items. In my experience, these music biz types frequently don't do half as much work for the bands as the bands think they do. Regardless of what back-room support you think you've got, if you want to be sure I'll get your material, it's up to you to double-check that the right people are doing the right stuff. - I tend not to review stuff that is not intended for general release, or is otherwise not readily available. So don't send me that five-track promo-only album sampler - send me the album. - I don't usually review material that I've already covered as part of another release. That means I might review the album, but not the singles taken from it. Conversely, if I've already reviewed the singles, I might not review the album. In any case, albums and singles are surely redundant concepts in these days of song-by-song downloads - but that's another dissertation! - I can't be responsible for items that go missing in the post. This has happened a few times in the past. Anything you send has to be at your own risk. Don't send material by Recorded Delivery, or any similar method that requires a signature. I don't actually live in that funny little box in London WC2, and I will not be able to sign for your stuff. Therefore, it'll probably vanish into some sort of postal limbo. - You can send me your music in digital form, but I can't be responsible for digital files that don't download properly, won't open, or otherwise fail to function. I'll accept virtual music, but I don't have the time or the inclination to fart around with recalcitrant technology. If I can't get at your files, you won't get my attention. Simple as that, I'm afraid. (And don't send music to me via file-mail websites such as Sendspace which fill my screen with pop-up ads!) Will you come and review my gig? I can only give you a definite maybe. I do get to a fair few gigs - significantly more than most other webzine proprietors and contributors, it must be said, some of whom seem to be languishing under house arrest, judging by the infrequency of their live music reviews. I'm quite the opposite - live music is the engine that drives this ramshackle webzine. But I can't get to every show in town. I have a day job and a life, which eat into my gigging opportunities...and anyway, sometimes I simply feel like a quiet night in. By all means alert me to your upcoming gigs if you wish, but I can't guarantee to be there. By the way, just as I never ask for promo material to be sent to me, I never ask for guest list places, either. Sometimes bands or promoters are kind enough to offer, and sometimes I accept. But most of the time I buy my ticket like any other punter. This means that even if the bands don't like my review, they can console themselves with the thought that at least they've got my money. Can I be sure that you'll give my band a good review? In a word, no. Everything I write is straight-from-the-shoulder opinion, unleavened with any hidden agendas, ulterior motives, or 'got to support the scene' artificial fluffiness. I don't genuflect before record labels, bands, promoters, or anyone else - a rare approach in any corner of the music media these days. While my reviews are not (usually) streams of bile and wormwood, please take on board the fact that I don't write promotional blurb. I write what I think. From time to time, this may not be quite the same as what you think. When I was a live music promoter, nobody cut me any slack. I had to take criticism of my gigs on the chin with a grin, and cheerfully come back for more. That was fair enough. That's the only way to play it. If I can cope with it, so can you. Therefore, any complaints, freak-outs, and bouts of knickers-in-a-twist outrage resulting from reviews that didn't quite turn out the way you wanted will be treated with appropriate levels of amused disdain. Some music publications (fanzines and magazines, online and off) operate blanket policies of saying nice things about everything. Sometimes, this may be due to a certain reluctance to rock the music biz boat, or to make sure the adverts keep coming. Other times, it may be due to genuine all-encompassing enthusiasm for the music itself - which is fair enough, although it's always wise to state this approach upfront before anyone gets the wrong idea. But, either way, I think the result is the same. Many bands, labels, promoters, etc have become accustomed to receiving universally bland approval from the music media - indeed, some younger bands may never have experienced anything else. On the rare occasions when they meet unfiltered opinions, they flip straight into the freak-out zone. Well, please freak out over my opinions if it makes you feel better. But I shall remain unmoved. There is, of course, one big advantage in this approach. You can be sure my reviews are the real deal. Good or bad, I'm sayng that stuff because I mean it. If I say nice things, you'll know I'm not dutifully trying to 'support the scene', or suck up to the record label, or appease my advertisers - and I'm certainly not trying to ingratiate myself with the artists because I want to be mates with the bands. Believe me, I saw enough gormless musos at close quarters during my years as a live music promoter to put me off being mates with bands for life. As the great Jim Thirlwell once put it, 'Say what you mean, and say it mean.' Or, as I would have it, 'Say what you mean - and throw in a few jokes.' Can I contribute to Nemesis To Go? This question has a 'Yes, but...' answer. Yes, I would like to have a few contributors on board, if only because I can't go everywhere and do everything myself. There are gigs that I'd like to get to, albums that I'd like to review, bands that I'd like to interview - I'm aware that there's much going on out there that I simply can't cover because there's only one of me in here. So, yes, a few more hands on deck would be very useful. But I want to avoid the trap I think some other webzines fall into: building up an extensive array of lavishly credited contributors, each with their impressive self-penned biography in which they portray themselves as God's gift to the music media, and yet who contribute very little real content. I have resolved that my train ain't gonna carry no passengers. I suppose my ideal contributor would be another one of me. Someone who can go out and get the raw material, and then do both the photos and the words. Since I started up this webzine, one or two people people have approached me, wishing to take photos, or write reviews - but it's not easy to find anyone who is willing or able to do both, which is what I really want. Inevitably, the people who want to do the photos never want to go to the same gigs as the people who want to do the words! I'm also looking for people who can write well. It's not that I regard myself as a giant of English literature, you understand. Far from it. But at least I know where the commas and apostrophes go, which seems to be a rare skill in these ill-educated times. I also like to think I have a touch of my own style. There are too many zines out there which are written in an oddly characterless format: dry and over-formal, clunky clichés sprinkled all over the place, without the writers putting anything of themselves into their work. I dislike that kind of thing - aside from anything else, it's boring. Someone once told me that reading my stuff was a bit like listening to me holding forth about music in the pub. I'm not sure if they meant that as a compliment, but I'll take it as such. At least it shows that when you read my stuff, you know it's me. If you've read all the above, and you reckon that my hypothetical contributor bears a distinct resemblance to yourself, show me what you can do. No promises, mind (and, before you ask, no money, either!) Can I advertise on Nemesis To Go? Yes, but not just yet. I'm not averse to having a few discreetly positioned ad banners scattered around the site. I intend to see about opening up Nemesis To Go to the forces of commerce at some point, but I haven't quite got there at present. Aside from anything else, I'll have to redesign my page layout to create some space where ad banners can go - I didn't think of this when I first put together my standard format. Once I've taken care of this, I'll obviously be looking for ads to fill the gaps. I'm not interested in being sponsored by anyone, and I certainly have no intention of sponsoring anyone else. But, if nothing else, it would be useful to include some advertising to help cover the cost of running around to all those gigs - and also meet the site's hosting costs, which are quite substantial. Mad optimistic fool that I am, I bought a lot of bandwidth. If you reckon you might be up for buying an ad banner or two at some point in the future, by all means let me know, so I can gauge demand (if any). It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that buying an advert on Nemesis To Go will not buy you good reviews. How is the Nemesis To Go site constructed? I'm no web-techie, but for what it's worth, at present this website is mainly built with Dreamweaver 4, with a few bespoke HTML tweaks along the way. I also use Fireworks 4 and Photoshop 7. All this is ancient technology now, of course, and I'm planning to substantially upgrade the back end soon. This will probably involve relaunching the site with updated versions of everything (and this time, I'll use CSS). However, these changes shouldn't be apparent to the casual reader. The zine will just carry on seamlessly from one issue to the next. That's the theory, anyway. If it all goes dark around here, you'll know that my plans have come unstuck! For now, everything is built on an ancient PC and checked on a slightly less ancient Mac. I have no particular preferences when it comes to Macs versus PCs, it's just convenient to do it that way. When the big upgrade happens, my main site construction machine will become a (new) Mac, and the checking machine will be the old PC. You should get good results in practically any browser. I've checked the site in Safari, Opera, Firefox, Internet Explorer and and Netscape Navigator, and aside from minor differences caused by the different ways the browsers render HTML, it all seems to work. Google Chrome looks OK, too, although I haven't tested the site extensively in this browser yet. Internet Explorer might not show my favicon - the little 'N' icon in the browser address bar. There's a known issue with IE here, and although I know various workarounds exist, I haven't quite been able to solve the problem yet. If you happen to have a quick fix for this one up your sleeve, please let me know. You may have to watch your text size in one or two browsers. Firefox, especially, defaults to a teeny-weeny text size which plays merry hell with my layouts. If you're a Firefox user and things look a little odd, boost the text to the next size up and everything should be OK. If you discover any other problems, send me an alert and the Nemesis To Go technical department will swing into instant action (translation: I'll stare blankly at my monitor screen and swear helplessly). Is Nemesis To Go safe for my wife and servants to read? Ah, it's time for another disclaimer. Nemesis To Go is not what I would call an 'adult' website. It is not festooned with gratuitous pictures of hawt chyxx in states of undress, notwithstanding certain photos of Theatres Des Vampires and the Soho Dolls. However, I do employ the English language in all its expressive glory, without any foolish fig leaves of self-censorship. This means that if I'm moved to say fuck, I'll say fuck - and not fck, or fk, or any other unconvincing 'I'm not really swearing, vicar' version. Therefore, Nemesis To Go may not be entirely suitable reading matter for sensitive ickle kiddies, or indeed sensitive ickle adults. You must make your own decision here. It's also worth noting that I am not responsible for the content of external links. This seems to me to be a rather unecessary disclaimer, but apparently it has to be made. So, if you follow a link from Nemesis To Go and discover something that fills you with seething disgust, existential woe, or otherwise gets you wailing and gnashing your teeth, don't come moaning to me, cuz it ain't my fault. Any other questions?* If you want to know something that I haven't covered on this page, ask me. Now, I must get back to work. I've got a webzine to run here...
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Back to top	Page credits: Photos, blather and construction by Michael Johnson. Nemesis logo by Antony Johnston, Red N version by Mark Rimmell.